I have been back to work for two weeks and am so happy. And exhausted. Once again, I’m experiencing some feelings of guilt for not being sad I’m not with M all day every day. Actually, not only do I not feel sad, but I am loving it. I have quite a commute to get to and from work, and while I don’t particularly love traffic I do love listening to the news and CBC radio for an hour and a half each day without the Little Screecher piping in from the back seat.
One thing that has been not so fun about being back to work, and about our new routine is that the time I’m spending with my kid lately is absolutely exhausting. We are never really just hanging out and having fun, and I find it ridiculously taxing. It’s like we spend all of our time together either getting ready for something (school, bath, bed) or having a meal, which generally means she is screaming and I am trying desperately to find that one magic thing that she feels like eating today.
Weekends seem so decadent now. Never in my life do I think I ever appreciated weekends more, and I find myself facing the wrenching decision of choosing between lazing around and picking a fun new activity in our fun new country space to fill our day. This weekend I think there was a nice balance. Yesterday I attended an awesome Knitting event at my friend’s sewing/craft lounge then I came home and we ordered food and watched the end of Season 3 of the Wire. Sunday one of my besties came by for coffee, then I made an impromptu yummy mac and cheese dinner.
Don’t get me wrong – I am so so so happy to be back at work. I just wish that the time I was with my kid was fun time, instead of more work time.
Where is there a knitting/crafting lounge?
I enjoy my commute to work too / my time for peace and quiet & catching up on my audiobook.
It’s a new lounge called Miss Bee’s sewing lounge – http://www.missbeesewing.com/ – my friend Annie opened it in her home and offers sewing time and private classes there. She used to work at Effiloche on St. Hubert doing the same thing but is striking out on her own now that she has a small boy. You should check it out!
Very cool! Thanks for the link!
Tell me about it! The absolute worst part of being a working mummy is that our free time is never really free time. I always feel like I am on a treadmill. I know you love your job from what I have read previously but I am no longer enthused with mine. I am due for a change but I don’t want to give up my fantastic commute, great boss, the flexibility and the on-site daycare. And because I always feel like I am on a treadmill, I can go from nice mummy to mean mummy in 5 seconds flat. I hate that about myself and I am working really hard at improving. I think I need to get more sleep but if I get more sleep, there is hardly any “me” time left.
I do feel really lucky that I love my job. Otherwise I probably wouldn’t have gone back to work at all to save on daycare expenses. But I love it, and I feel more myself since going back. Your job sounds like you have some great benefits – kinda hard to give that up, I’m sure! We need a magic machine that adds just like one or two extra hours in a day!